Rookie Retiree adventure: Target on a Tuesday morning

Have you ever wondered what goes on in the world outside of your weekday work?

I did. Sure, before I retired three weeks ago, I got out and about during the workday on the way to meetings, appointments, lunch, runs home to let the dog out or to meet the plumber. But as a rookie retiree, I've found actually living in this other world has been quite enlightening.

Before, I sometimes idly wondered what happens at Target on weekdays? Who are those people on computers at the local coffee shop mid-morning? Is the grocery store crowded at 2 p.m. on a Wednesday? Who goes to a movie a 1:30 p.m. on a Thursday?

In my first weeks as a rookie retiree, I tackled a couple of these burning questions with field trips to Target and Lowe’s midmorning on a Tuesday.

I'm a weekend Target shopper - one of those get 'em done types on the weekend who can find almost any "staple" I need from there. Of course, like anyone who strides through those double doors bypassing the big carts because I "just need a couple of items," I always answer the cashier with "I found more than I came for" when asked if I found everything.

So I knew my habits well enough not to attempt a Target run as a rookie retiree without a goal and detailed list during this time of transition where I may be unusually vulnerable to purchasing random organizing containers or boxes of pens.

List in hand, I was focused. But I didn't expect the quiet I found in those aisles. Instead of frantic weekend grocery shoppers or moms trying to quiet toddlers screaming for the toy at the end of the display aisle, I found amazing calm.

Most people were dressed like I was - stinky from a gym visit – or at least dressed like they’d been to the gym. The few young kids I saw were infants snoozing in baby buckets, rather than toddlers wiggling in the cart seats (I'm guessing the moms knew how to time the Target run with infant naps). Target workers were pushing around inventory carts (something you don’t see on the weekend) methodically going about their work of scanning items and stocking shelves.

At the checkout line, I consulted my list, and it matched exactly with the items on the conveyor belt to purchase. Surely a first.

Rather than leaving Target dazed and overstimulated because I’d bought more than I'd intended, I left energized to tackle Lowe's for the special light bulbs for the bathroom. I hate visiting Lowe's. Its merchandise intimidates me. The organization of the aisles confuses me. While I always leave Target with more than I'd meant to purchase, I typically leave Lowe's with less than I need because I get so overwhelmed.

Lowe’s parking lot was close to bare. Most of the people I saw when I got in the store seemed to be confidently heading to the products they needed – bolts or paint or tools or gardening implements  - things that feel as foreign to me as football cleats would be to a ballet dancer.

Timidly, I tackled the light bulb first. I figured matching up the one I needed to one in a package couldn’t be that challenging – and I was right. Having gained a little confidence from that find, I reluctantly took off for the nail and screw aisle dreading having to figure out what exactly I needed to hang my uncle's old dartboard on the brick-walled sun porch.

Clearly, I had the dazed look of Dorothy after she landed in Oz when a young man who somewhat resembled Garth from SNL asked me what I needed. I told him cement screws, but after a couple of questions he quickly figured out it was nails I needed. He explained how to use the nails on the mortar not the brick, and assessed the size I needed by simply asking a few questions.

With two specialty light bulbs, a box of $1.72 cement nails and a new bottle of Gorilla glue (my treat to myself) in hand, I confidently left Lowe's a new woman having survived Target and Lowe's in one morning less stressed than when I started - and guiltless for not buying unneeded random items.

Not quite the same weekday challenges I was used to when I was navigating meetings, deadlines and projects while dressed in heels, a skirt and jacket. But I’m always up for a new challenge – and I think I survived this one dressed in yoga pants and fleece.


I've been trying to write a "daily 200" on my blog - a daily minimum of 200 words of just observations and lessons learned each day - more as a writing discipline than a journal. Read 'em here if you're so inclined. Also, stay tuned for more rookie retiree daytime adventures – field trips to coffee shops, early afternoon movies and dog walking at the Riverwalk.


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